Aware of Bodies

The sun starts to go down.
They wade into the water,
Balancing on rocks as they go.
Water pushes against the shore.
Light sparkles like paper thin gold on the surface.
She is painfully aware of their bodies.
She worries someone will catch her staring a little too long.
For them, swimming is freedom,
But for her, it is a trap
Designed to set her apart from the rest
And to build up the tension she feels.
It’s maddening.
These thoughts shouldn’t have to be crossed out,
Scratched over with permanent marker
So that they become invisible
Like bodies moving through darkness.
It works.
These thoughts are invisible
Because people still ask her about the boys she likes.
They can’t see that inside
She has eyes for women.
It’s a blessing and a curse at the same time,
She is safe from harm
Yet a part of her is shoved away
Where it never sees the light of day.
In the sun that day,
Her emotions are as clear as the azure sky.
Longing and lust lie at the core.
The beauty of these women enraptures her
And for once, she lets it float through her.
She accepts it as she does the cool water
Sliding up her ankles as she wades in

Growing more comfortable
Until she forgets it was ever cold.