by Reah Dheenshaw
He told me he loved me with all his heart,
But still decided to tear it apart.
He told me I was beautiful when I thought wrong,
He would reassure me to make sure he wasn’t wrong,
To make sure I was the puppet and he was the master,
Fixing me than tearing me apart to make sure I forgot her,
Forgot the girl who I used to be
So he could replace me with someone I didn’t want to be.
I didn’t see what he did until the very end
When I was broken down and too tired to attend,
Attend to my friends and family.
Trying to get out of my room caused me fear,
Being left alone started to become more clear,
Where I didn’t have to worry about me,
So people couldn’t see the monster he turned me to be.
See, it was always my fault
I started to believe.
The more I cut I finally felt free.
The more he yelled the more I cried.
The more I cried the more he smiled.
The more he told me his lies,
The more I wanted to hear.
The abuse started to become simple and clear.
The yelling and crying and the lies he told
Started to become something in our day-to-day conversation.
The more I got used to it,
It shaped my thought,
That maybe love was supposed to be this way,
Because the words rolled off his tongue in a soothing way.
It became so simple for him to tell me my faults.
I got so caught up in who he wanted me to be,
I totally lost sight of the girl I needed to be.
I pulled everyone away so he could love me,
For it was wrong if I told anybody.
I had to keep quiet so people wouldn’t look at him wrong,
So they don’t see the rotten hole in his corrupted heart.
But I was not blind,
I saw it right through his perfect mask.
I saw how evil he was,
And I wanted to dance,
He wasn’t the person I thought he was to be,
He turned into someone I despise, but
I still loved him because he was good once,
And I believed he could be again
If he gave it a chance.
But instead he took me for granted,
But I still held a little hope,
For maybe one day he’ll return.
I wish the best for him,
For I know he holds the power, and
It’s only him who can activate it.
I hope he knows I believe in him,
And every day I wish he’s doing well,
For I once saw the good in the devil,
And I saw the good in him as well.
He hurt me and shattered me in millions of pieces,
But if that takes him to the path he has to follow,
I wish him well.
For he was more than I could ask,
He brought me tears and little laughs.
It was a twisted love,
But I wouldn’t change a thing,
For he was someone I loved and held close,
And he saw something in me.
He made me lose myself to rebuild,
And this time it wasn’t love for him,
It was love for myself.
He will always hold a piece of me,
But daydreaming and rethinking what we could be
He’s happy with someone else,
And that stung at first,
But I hope then he can give him the things I Couldn’t.
I gave him all I could,
But my love ran dry,
when I couldn’t find love for myself.
We were tragic and a little crazy,
For he was really the devil who was stuck with me,
So he played mind tricks to trick me,
And his beauty blinded me.
I was blind and handed him my broken heart,
He fixed it,
And Sewed it back together,
Just so he could crumble it up again.
I knew he would hurt me,
But his smile was one thing that made me crazy,
For he is someone I miss, but
will never communicate with again.
Now I see what he had done and I wish him the best.
Many people think it’s ugly for the way he scarred me,
And I hope some choose to still love me,
Because no one’s beautiful without a few imperfections.
His imperfections were something I was willing to risk,
He was a chapter not a life sentence.
For my sweetest Alex,
I’ll always hope you will activate that switch,
I wish so much for you,
Because there’s so much more to you then what I have seen.
I hope you find who you’re supposed to be,
I hope you find the beautiful things I see,
And I hope you know the hardest part was to let you go.
May you please find the someone that I couldn’t be.
I gave you the world
But you wanted the entire galaxy.