That’s So Gay

I hear it
Out of the mouths of friends, classmates, family members, strangers,
I freeze
Solid, ice in my veins hardening and freezing the rest of me, cracks spreading,
I shatter
Pieces of me fall to the floor, smacking the linoleum, sliding
I melt
Hot shame burning my ice cold skin and leaving me, a puddle, lying there.
I simmer
Fear heating me to the point where I begin to bubble until
I boil
Rage and fury tossing me violently until suddenly
I float
On air, my mind lifting up, far away from where I once stood, panic raising me higher, further
away from myself, and then
I fall
And suddenly I’m back, and
No one
Noticed.